The Gottman Institute offered the following on October 8, 2020 in their email newsletter called “The Marriage Minute”: “The saying, ‘It’s a marathon, not a sprint’ could apply to relationships, but a better metaphor to consider might be that commitment is a road, not a destination. You and your partner are on the road together. Was it bumpy at the start? Have there been unexpected detours? Or maybe you’ve even hit a pothole or two. But the best way to move forward is not to dwell in those potholes. Even if they cause a flat tire, you call roadside assistance and keep going. It’s okay to hit a rough patch. It’s okay to call for help. ask for directions, or look at a map if you’re lost. You’re on the road together, navigating it side by side. Trust and love are built in the small moments, and often as a result of some of the toughest stretches of road. “
And what about your relationship with yourself? Are you judgmental of yourself? Do you blame yourself for every little thing that goes wrong? Has that approach helped your relationship with yourself? When my children were growing up I used to remind them that the only guarantee in life was CHANGE. Everything changes and because that’s true of ourselves as well, why not take the opportunity to observe your behavior, actions, thoughts and emotions, rather than judge them.
Observing is neutral and therefore not hurtful. It might even lead to a more positive approach to viewing your relationship with yourself and then, hopefully, your relationship with others.
-Harriet