LOVE, LOVE and LOVE

Valentines’s Day (February 14) originated as a Christian feast day honoring the martyr Valentine but has morphed into a celebration of love and affection, acknowledged with greeting cards, balloons, chocolates, flowers and gifts to one’s romantic partner. As you already know there’s a myriad of sentimental stories, poems and songs capitalizing on Valentine’s Day and passionate love.

This Valentine’s Day I’m focusing on my varied and abundant loves in my life. I love GOD to whom I’m grateful for the countless gifts I’ve received throughout my life. Like you, I love my children and grandchildren with all my heart. I love my tried and true friends. I love the memories of family and friends who have predeceased me and all the love and experiences we had shared.

Not in any order of priority I love the wonder and beauty of nature, travel, sailing, physical activities, adventure, hugs and kisses, music, giraffes, open-honest communication, Israel, helping others, driving in my blue convertible, writing, dancing, laughing and learning from others.

I hope you too can create a list of LOVES in your life.

-Harriet

PREACHER, POLITICIAN and Modern Day PROPHET (part 2)

Tomorrow January 20 will be another example of two major holidays falling on the same day - a not too common experience. Inauguration Day is always January 20 and this year it falls on the third Monday in January, the national holiday celebrating the birth of Martin Luther King, Jr. It was signed into law in 1983 by President Reagan to honor MLK as the main spokesperson for non violent action during the Civl Rights Movement. He stood for JUSTICE and EQUALITY; that is giving each person what he or she deserves. As a leader he was ethical, civic minded and had the ability to inspire others.

I honored MLK in last January’s blog with some of my favorite quotes. One of my readers suggested we remember them everyday. This is a timely one: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to injustice everywhere”.

-Harriet

SHARING is CARING

Just five days before Christmas/Hanukkah (only the 5th time they were on the same day in 114 years) my friend Cathy shared what she was planning to do for her granddaughters’ holiday gifts. I was all over it! “What a great idea!” I said and so I sent the following group text to my 7 grandchildren, ages 21-31.

“In keeping with Judaism’s history of continuity and change I am creating a new ritial in gifting each of you Hanukkah gelt (money) for $200. $100 is for your own enjoyment or purchase. The other $100 is for you to donate to a favorite charity or cause of your choosing. We all have been supported by those who have come before us and now it’s your turn to support others….” Wishing you a meaningful Hanukkah and Christmas. Love, Nanny

Their responses were immediate, appreciative and affirming! This idea could also apply to a birthday or graduation gift/

Spread the word and help inspire our younger generations to create a better 2025.

-Harriet

TRULY THANKFUL on THANKSGIVING

Name the 5 wealthiest people in the world. Name 5 gold medalists from the 2024 Olympics. Name the last 6 Academy Award winners for best actor and actress. Name 5 people who have won the Nobel Peace or Pulitzer Prize. Name 5 presidents or Prime Ministers. (Not easy !)

Try these next questins: List a couple of teachers who supported you through school. Name 3 friends who helped you when you needed them. Name a few people who taught you something worthwhile. Name those who have made you feel worthwhile. Think of 3 people who you enjoy spending time with.

Did it really matter whether you could answer the first set of questions?

Trrophies tarnish. Applause dies. Achievementa are forgotten. Yesterday’s headlines vanish.

Tomorrow on Thanksgiving and EVERYDAY focus on what truly matters - relationships, mentorships and kindness…………….

-Harriet

LOVELY LADIES

This morning I woke to a beautifully written email from one of the leaders on my recent Backroads hiking trip in the Peloponnese area of Greece; a vacation I shared with my granddaughter Allie in honor of her college graduation. We were joined by 18 other dynamic and active women, ages 23-84. Antonia greeted us each morning with “Hey lovely ladies!” accentuated by her exuberant personality, her Greek accent and her beautiful smiling face.

What was unique about this email was the following message: “Tonia, Dimi and I cannot thank you enough. It is special and life giving when groups treat each other with kindness, respect and interest in the other that each of you showed. You made us feel like we were family for the week, a family created by your care, compassion and generosity for each other, and for us. Thank you for sharing your lives with us and for being part of ours. It was truly a gift.”

The message ended with a quote from the Greek philosopher Plato; “It is impossible for the world to get better unless humans get better first.”

-Harriet

REFLECTION-RENEWAL-RESILIENCE-RETURN

Based on the Hebrew calendar Rosh Hashanah commences at sundown October 2, beginning a ten day span concluding with Yom Kippur on October 12. This period is called “Ten Days of Awe” or “Ten Days of Repentance”; a time for introspection.

As always I will reflect on my personal actions or lack thereof during this past year and ask for forgiveness from others as well as forgive those who may have been hurtful towards me as I strive to be a more caring person in the new year.

However, this holy time takes on a new meaning for me as we approach the one year anniversary of the October 7 massacre in Israel of 1200 people and the capture of 251 hostages, all leading to more turmoil in an already beleaguered Middle East. One thing I’m clear about; the Jewish people have for thousands of years been resilient!

I ask you to join me in a prayer for SHALOM (peace).

-Harriet

QUARTET of QUOTABLE QUOTES

August for me had been a time for sitting quietly under the tall shade trees in my backyard reading a book or napping in the hammock, floating in the warm waters of the Atlantic Ocean or sailing on Long Island Sound when the winds came up in the late afternoon.

Among many beliefs August is spiritually a time of transition into that which is lighter and more positive aa well as an opportunity to explore one’s inner self. With that in mind I offer these four quotes.

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within” Maya Angelou

“Service to others is the rent we pay for room on earth” Muhammad Ali

““Eat half, walk more, laugh triple and love without measure” Tibetan Proverb

“ A smile is the lighting system of the face and the healing system of the heart” written on the blackboard of a restaurant called Sara’s Kitchen.

-Harriet

BIKES, BICYCLES and BICYCLING

Thanks to Karl von Drais, a German Baron, people all over the world have enjoyed the pleasure and practicality of riding a bicycle. In 1817 he made one of wood, having no pedals, gears or chains and propelled himself along by pushing himself, one foot after the other. Did you ever ride a bicycle when you were young? Maybe you called it a two wheeler, a major move from the tricycle you began on. Perhaps you graduated to a 10 speed. Hopefully, you still take a ride once in a while.

As a child and teen I enjoyed the freedom and independence of riding around town and sometimes even further, visiting friends and exploring other neighborhoods. Having recently returned from a multisport Backroads trip with my family on the southern coast of France I experienced the freedom and joy once again. Today the advent of the e bike gave me the necessary boost to tackle the demanding inclines and experience the ultimate exhilaration of coasting down the subsequent hills and switchbacks. I felt like that 10 year old once again.

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” (Albert Einstein)

So - KEEP MOVING…………………..

-Harriet

JUNETEENTH

Former Secretary of State Condolezza Rice has written about growing up in Birmingham, Alabama, the most segregated city in the US at that time, where her father could not be assured his vote would count, and people of color could not go to the movies, sit at a lunch counter or go to school alongside white children. She was eight years old when the 16th Street Baptist Church, where her father was the pastor, was bombed killing four children, two of whom she knew.

Although slavery had officially ended on June 19, 1865 it wasn’t until 2021 when Congress voted unanimously to make the date of June 19 a federal holiday naming it JUNETEENTH. While many may question the need for this newly proclaimed federal holiday, Condolezza Rice writes, “To me Juneteenth is a recognition of what I call America’s second founding.”

I recently finished a moving and informative novel called “Sweetness of Water” depicting the struggles of both white and black neighbors living in the South soon after the emancipation. Perhaps today we can take a moment as Condolezza’s family did yearly, to think about how those who had been born into slavery felt after learning of their freedom. She adds “And I will give thanks for being born in a country where such moral progress is possible. That is worth celebrating not just by black Americans but by all of us.”

-Harriet

MEMORIAL DAY MEMORIES

I wondered this year why my memories of actively commemorating Memorial Day up north seemed so different than while I’ve been living in the south. Then I learned that the early “official” recognitions happened soon after the end of the Civil War.

While many towns have claimed to be the first, I found the earliest observance was held on May 1, 1865 in Charleston, SC when freed enslaved people and members of the US Colored Troops gathered to remember the dead.

The name has been changed from Decoration Day to Memorial Day. The day of observance has been changed from May 30 to the last Monday in May.

Let’s not change the essence of this holiday. Whether you attend a Memorial Day concert or parade, place a wreath or flag on a grave or pause at 3 pm your time for a minute of silence you will be honoring those who have died in the US military. We owe them that much and more.

-Harriet

COMPASSION COMEBACK ???????

On April 23, 2024 Vox published an article by Stanford University professor of psychology, Jamil Zaki, “Compassion Is Making a Comeback In America.” The subtitle was “A decade ago research showed a troubling dip in empathy. A new study provides more hope, as in Sara Konrath’s new research update.”

What is the difference between compassion and empathy? According to the Oxford Language Dictionary, compassion is sympathetic pity and concern for the suffering or misfortunes of others. I prefer the Psychology Today explanation – an empathic understanding of a person’s feelings accompanied by altruism or a desire to act on that person’s behalf.

While we can never feel another’s emotions, we can try to “taste” the feelings or place ourselves in their footsteps. I’m also clear we can’t changed someone else’s feelings or dire situation. However, there are ways to support others. For example: donate money, bring food or other necessities, make a phone call or send a text saying, “I’m thinking of you” or offer a tangible way of assisting, such as running an errand or picking someone up from the airport.

In my many years of counseling, I’ve learned that a majority of “compassionate” people place themselves last on the list. Think about that. Are you that person?

Let’s all focus more on having more empathy/compassion for others and ourselves.

– Harriet

WONDERFUL WISE WOMEN

International Women’s Day has been observed on March 8 since the early 1900’s, specifically addressing the inequality of work conditions, pay and voting rights in Europe. Since 1987 March has been designated by presidential proclamation to honor women’s contributions in America. It also has become a dedicated month to raise awareness of the ongoing issues related to gender inequality and human rights.

Today on my birthday I wish to acknowledge some recent accomplishments by some amazing women.

1- Christina Koch will become the first female astronaut assigned for a flight to the moon after a 50 year hiatus, having lived for 328 days on the International Space Station in 2019.

2- Israeli conductor Bar Avni won the women’s international competition in Paris beating 197 competitors from 47 countries.

3- Admiral Lisa Franchetti is the first woman to head the the US Navy, thereby becoming the first woman to serve on the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

4- In 2023 several universities named female presidents for the very first time.

5- Clara Goldin was the first solo woman awarded the Nobel Prize in Economics just last year.

6- In 2022 Taylor Swift gave the commencement speech at NYU titled “Cringe Is Unavoidable”

The list goes on and on and I encourage you to learn about other inspiring women who have been trailblazers throughout the centuries.

-Harriet

LEAP DAYS aND LEAP YEARS

Every four years we add a day at the end of February to align the calendar with the Earth’s orbit. We can thank Julia Caesar for recognizing the problem in 46 BCE and coming up with a solution.

Then the system was refined by Pope Gregory in the 16th Century, whereby every 100 years one leap day was to be eliminated. That too was not a perfect solution, so now we add an extra day every 400 years.

If that’s not confusing enough, compare it to the Jewish calendar, which is luni-solar. It has 29 days, alternating with 30 days every month. Then, every three years an extra month is added.

My takeaway from all this is to be aware and mindful of every precious moment we are given while alive.

– Harriet

PREACHER, POLITICIAN and modern day PROPHET

Today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. As Rabbi Marc Gellman of The God Squad wrote in his weekly column on Friday, this is a holiday without rituals and he would like “this day to have a deeper significance than just a day with no postal delivery.”

I’ve chosen to remember Dr. King as a preacher, politician and modern day prophet by sharing a few of my favorite quotes from him.

“I am convinced that men hate each other because they fear each other. They fear each other because they don’t know each other, and they don’t know each other because they don’t communicate with each other, and they don’t communicate with each other because they are separated from each other.”

“We must learn to live together as brothers or perish as fools.”

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

-Harriet

GIFT of LIGHT

“I was not angry for even a minute, neither was my husband,” said the mother of a hostage mistakenly killed by IDF soldiers. “There was pain, sorrow, great pain…We were shocked.”

When the soldiers involved visited the family during shiva (the seven day mourning period) this mother told them she and her family love them and do not blame them for her son’s death as they “cried together.” After learning that morale was low in the IDF after the incident she chose to release this public message.

This is an example of light in a dark time. So too are the holidays of Hanukah, Christmas and Kwanza, whose common symbol of displaying lit candles and electric lights remind us that in the darkest time of the year it is possible to see light , love, forgiveness and healing.

Please join me with ongoing prayers for PEACE in 2024.

-Harriet

POSITIVELY PAINFUL PROSE

Sent from my iPhone

Begin forwarded message:

Subject: THE WORLD, U.S., ISRAEL AND ANTISEMITISM



Marking 30 days since the horrific massacre, the President of Israel invites the pubic to light a candle in their homes anywhere and everywhere in memory of the murdered and fallen. This is an appropriate time for me to share the following letter written by Joe Isenstein to his family this week.

DON'T KNOW IF YOU WILL TAKE THE TIME TO READ THIS BUT I HOPE YOU DO. 

MOST OF YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO GROW UP WITH VIRULENT ANTISEMITISM. I DO. FROM THE TIME I CAN REMEMBER ANTISEMITISM HAS BEEN PART OF MY LIFE AND THAT OF MY PARENTS AND BROTHERS . IN THE SMALL NEW HAMPSHIRE TOWN I GREW UP IN WE WERE REFERRED TO AS "DIRTY JEWS" AND "CHRIST KILLERS". FROM FIGHTS ON THE PLAY GROUNDS TO SUBTLE (AND NOT SO SUBTLE) COMMENTS BY SOME TEACHERS ANTISEMITISM WAS ALIVE AND WELL. I STILL CARRY SOME OF THE PAIN INSIDE ME.DURING THAT TIME 6 MILLION JEWS WERE MURDERED IN EUROPE ALONG WITH 2 MILLION OTHER NON DESIRABLES.  IN THOSE EARLY YEARS OF MY GROWING UP ISRAEL DID NOT EXIST. SLOWLY, AS ISRAEL MATURED IT APPEARED THAT ANTISEMITISM WAS SLOWLY FADING.THE UNITED NATIONS CAME INTO BEING BASED ON THE HOPE FOR WORLD PEACE ALONG WITH THE ERADICATION OF HATE AND OTHER FORMS OF BRUTALITY. IT SEEMED AS THOUGH HUMANITY HAD LEARNED FROM THE MISTAKES OF THE PAST AND  MOST OF US THOUGHT THAT ANTISEMITISM JUST EXISTED WITH FRINGE WHITE SUPREMICISTS. WE HAVE BEEN PROVEN WRONG.

COLLEGE CAMPUSES ARE EXPLODING WITH ANTISEMITISM FOSTERED BY PROGRESSIVE LEFT WING FACULTY AND ADMINISTRATIONS UNABLE TO FIND THEIR VOICES. MY SISTER IN LAW KIETHA LEFT HER FAMILY TO MARCH WITH MARTIN LUTHER KING AND JEWS RODE BUSES AND PARTICIPATED IN SITINS WITH BLACKS THROUGHOUT THE SOUTH. JEWS SUPPORTED BLACK LIVES MATTER BECAUSE WE BELIEVE ALL LIVES MATTER. NOW BLM SUPPORTS HAMAS AND CELEBRATES THE MURDER OF JEWS. LGBTQ HAS BEEN SUPPORTED BY JEWS THROUGHOUT THE WORLD AND THAT COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE SUPPORTS HAMAS AND THE MURDER OF JEWS. JEWS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AT AT THE FOREFRONT OF LIBERAL THOUGHT, LIBERAL ACTIONS AND RIGHTS OF MINORITIES. I ASK MYSELF WHERE DID WE GO WRONG.

MY HEART HAS NEVER BEEN SO HEAVY. I AM SADDENED THAT MY CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN WILL LIVE THROUGH TIMES MUCH MORE DESTRUCTIVE OF JEWS THAN WHAT I LIVED THROUGH. I AM AT A LOSS OF WHAT TO TELL YOU. 

WHEN OCT 7 HAPPENED PEOPLE WOULD ASK "DO YOU HAVE RELATIVES IN ISRAEL?" I WOULD TELL THEM I HAVE A COUSIN IN TEL AVIV AND A GREAT NEPHEW IN THE NORTH WATING TO BE CALLED UP TO FIGHT. FOR ME THAT IS NO LONGER A SUFFICIENT ANSWER. I NOW ANSWER "I HAVE 9 MILLION BROTHERS, SISTERS, NIECES AND NEPHEWS LIVING IN ISRAEL. THEY ARE ALL MY FAMILY. THEY'RE YOUR FAMILY TOO.

FEAR FOR FUTURE

Two weeks after the brutal massacre of at least 1400 Israelis, over 4000 injured and the taking of over 200 hostages I’m experiencing a myriad of normal grief reactions: sadness, denial, anger, helplessness, numbness and fear. Perhaps you’ve listened to the impassioned speeches by President Biden and NYC Mayor Eric Adams (YouTube) as I have.

Today my feeling of fear stretches beyond what’s happening in the Middle East and I’m reminded of the poem by the Lutheran Pastor Martin Niemoller who initially as a Nazi supporter and self identified antisemite was SILENT. He later became an outspoken enemy of Hitler and was imprisoned in two concentration camps. His poem - “First They Came”

First they came for the Communists and I did not speak out because I was not a Communist

Then they came for the Socialists and I did not speak out because I was not a Socialist

Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist

Then they came for the Jews and I did to speak out because I was not a Jew

Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Will you be SILENT?

-Harriet

"FORGET ME NOT"

Alzheimers Disease International has proclaimed September as World Alzheimers Month to raise awareness and challenge the stigma associated with this disease and other dementia. Two symbols offered to represent AD are the elephant who “never forgets” and the Forget Me Not flower - so we don’t forget the need to support the patients and their caregivers as well as donate to fund research to find a cure.

Realistically we aren’t always aware of what a dementia patient remembers. Having lived with a parent and sibling with AD and a sister in law with advanced dementia as well as within my hospice volunteer experience I’ve learned that the simplest way to connect and observe moments of awareness is with MUSIC. I’ve chosen nursery rhymes, patriotic or religious melodies and songs from their favorite vocalist and all are easily available on YouTube.

Try it and offer the gift to your loved one and yourself. I hope you can experience watching that person connect with a deeply buried memory.

-Harriet

BUILDING HOMES - REBUILDING LIVES

My blog originated after publishing my book, SAD IS NOT BAD, for the sole purpose of offering grief support. However, through time it has evolved to whatever inspires me that month. Last Saturday I was inspired and educated after being invited to attend a ribbon cutting ceremony for a mortgage free home, specially adapted to the needs of a post 9/11 war veteran and his family.

Homes For Our Troops (HFOT) has opened 350 uniquely adapted homes in over 44 states. However, over 1000 more severely inured veterans are still in need of that gift to help them rebuild their lives.

The ceremony was beautiful with flags held by all, a color guard, singing of the national anthem, an invocation, and several speakers acknowledging the veteran. However, I was most moved by one in particular. With tears in his eyes the Battalion Commander of this honored vet shared the outstanding qualities of courage and a positive spirit of his soldier while under his command. Those inherent qualities, along with amazing medical care and family love and support helped him recover after an explosion in Iraq severely burned his body and he was given only 5% chance for survival. The vet graciously stood and after embracing his commander shared his and his wife’s words of appreciation to all who helped with this incredible gift of a new home.

Of course I have added HFOT to my charitable donations. I encourage you to research this inspiring organization and spread the word.

-Harriet

HARRIET'S HIKING HOLIDAY

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” (St. Augustine)

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place…but nothing ever grows there.” (Anonymous)

Relevant to so many aspects of our lives, be it work, a residence or relationships, we often settle not ever looking deeper to see if it’s good for us. I’ve pushed the boundaries of my comfort zone in all of these areas and for that I’m grateful. An example from ten years ago was traveling by myself to Bhutan, hiking and camping out in the Himalayas with just my guide Tshering and a cook and a porter. I’ve just returned from 5 days of hiking in Switzerland, accompanied by my granddaughter where once again I had challenges to truly move me beyond my comfort zone. I was often reminded of the children’s song, “The Bear Went Over The Mountain” and you know what he saw.

“The top of one mountain can be the bottom of your next so keep climbing.”

-Harriet